In response to the Post on the Constipation Stand at the Pharmacy Trade Show,
BLIGHTY QUESTIONED THE MEANING OF PBS
Dear Mrs In Townsille, I wish to complain in the strongest possible terms about your scandalously inadequate coverage of Movicol, Australia’s Number 1 PBS Laxative, I feel you did not go into this area deeply enough. Moreover, there is no explanation for the uniniated of what PBS stands for – I can only guess at “Poo Buildup Syndrome” or “Plumbing Blockage Scenario” but it is not satisfactory that I am literally having to make sh*t up here… I would like to add that I enjoy a good Movicol as much as the next man/woman, I particularly enjoyed Mamma Mia but Sound of Music will always be my favourite. Must go run over some hedgehogs now, Cruella xxx
WELL OBVIOUSLY I HAD TO CALL IN AN EXPERT
A PHARAMCIST IN FACT
KNOWN TO YOU ALL
I PROUDLY PRESENT MY FIRST GUEST BLOGGER
Hello all Lou’s blogworld friends.
Little (insert other adjectives here) James here.
I understand and take very seriously, my obligation to give you factual and relevant information about what PBS stands for.
I truly have a genuine desire to use Blighty’s definition at work in the Pharmacy, Poo Build-Up Syndrome, but it’s just not the done thing here in Townsville.
To answer your question as a professional pharmacist, I must make reference to the Bristol Stool Scale, and pay homage to all those
(perhaps even some of these distinguished Bristol University Folk)
who selflessly gave a shit to the University of Bristol
(University of Bristol)
to help formulate the Stool Scale. For those of you whom are musically minded, this scale is unlike musical scales
and does not incorporate, nor take in to consideration any order of audibal pitch that may arise during the toilet-going experience.
I PRESENT THE BRISTOL STOOL SCALE
Please pay attention:
Does your number 2 look like a number 1, you need the number 1 PBS laxative, prevents Possible Broken Seals which may lead to Painful Bloody Stitches.
Or perhaps your number 2 looks like number two, then Movicol is still your number 1 Choice in avoiding Praying But Squeezing too much.
If your number 2s are like the number 3s, Movicol still has the answer – no need to suffer from Personal Bum Sadness here.
Type 4 is the holy grail of poos. If you are producing type 4 then there’s obviously no Painful Butt Squirming going on at all.
If your number 2s resemble number 5s, uh oh, time to call the Poo Binding Squad you really need to take a firmer approach.
Number 6 number 2s can be cause for concern, for God’s sake don’t use Movicol as things are Pretty Bloody Sloppy as it is.
If, heaven forbid, your number 2s are number 7 all I can say is that you really need to look at Putting a Blockage Somewhere.
Hope that clears up the PBS system for you Blighty.
Some , very boring people within the Australian Pharmaceutical Industry, including Government Officials, and even pharmacists themselves refer to the PBS as the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme: The Australian scheme for subsiding the cost of medication to consumers of pharmaceuticals.
On this blog we prefer to dig deeper into these vexing quetions.
Regards to all of you, I read your comments regularly, and Lou talks about you all with great affection so I feel as if I know you already.
Must say I’m a bit disappointed as the slowness of my adjective though.